Connecting

Last Saturday I was preparing to barbecue some marinated chicken breast when I heard my grill start to sputter and flame out. My propane tank was empty. Fortunately I have two spare propane tanks in my garage. Unfortunately they were both empty as well. Thirty minutes later I was back from Home Depot with a fresh tank, hoping to stay on schedule with my dinner plans. I was a little rushed and a little distracted as I began to connect my new tank.

To connect two threaded items to one another, you turn to the right to tighten and the left to loosen. This is a near universal truth; righty-tighty, lefty-loosy. I was a little hungry, a little rushed and a little distracted. I was operating on default logic. Trust me when I say, that I wanted this connection to happen. I needed this connection to happen and I was working to make this connection happen. None of those things made any difference. None of those things made this connection happen. Why not?

I forget a very simple and very critical step in making effective connections

The design of something always determines how you best connect with it.

Propane tanks are designed with reverse threads. This is not an oversight, mistake or defect. This feature ensures that any and all connections are made with a clear and deliberate intention. The connections have to be good when you are dealing with something powerful and combustible. This connection does not work the way so many other connections work. It is in fact designed, not to work by default logic or routine habit.

What kind of threads do your relationships have?

How are you trying to connect?

If you are working against the design of people’s hearts, your hard work and good intentions will make little difference.

Remember: the design of something always determines how you best connect with it.

God knows how He made people’s hearts. Have you asked him lately to show you the posture, the tone, the words and the actions that will tighten your connection and relationships? You can back up without giving up. You can express your heart to know their heart. You can let go of your habits, your instincts, your default logic, and your need to understand her process. Try some of that next time you’re getting stuck and losing connection. Then try giving things a turn and see what happens.